I saw the strangest thing yesterday when I was driving on 315. It startled me so much (and made me so intent on creating conspiracy theories (yes, I'm Joel's daughter)) that I took the wrong exit.

As I was driving, I thought I saw a flash of white in the car to my right, like he had just stuck his hand out the sunroof. Then, a few seconds later, I saw him do it again, this time throwing something white out the top of his car. A few seconds after that? White tissues, he was throwing wads of tissues out of his sunroof. Well, I get over to the right because I need to exit soon, and there is one car in between me and the crazy- throwing tissues out the window man. All of a sudden, he throws out another wad of tissues. It bounces off the windshield of the car in front of me, sails back, and *plunk* smacks my windshield. Right in front of my face, a big wad of white tissues. Isn't that weird? First of all, this is not plain old littering. This is throwing things at the cars behind you. You've got to be a little unstable to do such a thing, right?

Amanda's Theories:
1. He was trying to spread the swine flu with infected balls of tissues.
2. He killed someone and was spreading the evidence in little pieces all over the freeway. (I mean, that tissue hunk hit with a real thud.)

(PS - my mom wants to state for the record that old people with oxygen tanks should not be driving slowly around town. Personally, I think this is ageism, or at least emphysema-ism:)

Why?

Why do people love butterflies so much? They are insects after all. I myself am totally freaked out by them. People write songs about butterflies. OK, so I get the whole metamorphosis symbolism, but would you listen to a song about mosquitoes? People get tattoos of butterflies. Would you get a tattoo of a water bug? (Ew, I'm grossing myself out just thinking about this.) We went to a butterfly house (against my strong protestations). Would you go to a cockroach house? "Yea, let's see if I can get this cockroach to land on me." Gross! These are insects people! I don't care how pretty their colors are. They have long, yucky, gross legs and are creepy. Just say no to butterflies.

Amanda Wonders if She is Old

So I've been wondering lately if I am getting old. I mean, I know that I am getting older. If your not getting older you are either dead or Benjamin Button. Here's why I've been wondering. I was at JC Penny and I kept on picking out these shirts that had large floral type prints on them, and I kept on thinking, "Is this really a pretty shirt, or do I just think it is a pretty shirt because I am becoming an old lady?" I was pretty distraught over my fashion sense that day.

Then, on the fourth, I was looking out my window at 1:00 AM because there were fireworks going off in the field across the street. I could see all these people running around and having a good time, and I just wished they would be quiet because they woke me up, and went back to bed. Hello! That is old fart territory!

But then, yesterday, I had this dream that aliens came to invade the earth and they were separating people into two categories: the young and the old. They wanted to suck the brains out of the young people and just wanted to blow up the old people, and guess what? I was considered a young person and they sucked my brains out. Ah! That made me feel better!

(Please don't think I'm too crazy:)

Amanda Wants to Be

I want to be this girl when I grow up! Her name is Emily Bear and she is six or seven. She composed a song about her interpretation of the Northern Lights and it won an award! It is so beautiful!

Why do cartoons animals sometimes wear a shirt but no pants? I say, either do all the clothes or no clothes, otherwise they look like they are naked (like the bad dreams I sometimes have!)

Great Quote ; )

(Sometimes when I do that winky eye emoticon, I think that it kind of looks like me, with one Chinese eye and one white eye.)

Anyway:

"There is no beautifier of complexion, or form, or behavior, like the wish to scatter joy and not pain around us."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nurse was a Jerk

So I think that this is a pretty safe forum to get out my frustrations. I love, love, love my doctor. I've been going to her for less than a year, but I feel like she understands me. Plus, I have this paranoia that doctors think that I am really annoying and don't believe a word I say, but I don't feel that way with her. See, I've had tons of strange medical maladies in my lifetime, but, when I look over them, there is not one thing that I could have made up. (I cannot induce seizures, make my blood pressure high or influence my allergy test (where I reacted so badly that the nurse brought in other nurses just to gawk at my crazy, "Christmas tree" like bump pattern)).

Anyway, the only bad thing about my doctor's office is the nurse guy that works there. The last time I was there, last Friday, he talked down to me twice. The first time, he was all frustrated about why I was even there. The back story is, my GI doctor quit, and I really just wanted to talk to my regular doctor to get a little bit of a new plan in place and to get her opinion. He was going on about, "First you call and I get you an appointment with the GI guy, now you're coming here, blah, blah, blah." I said, "Yes, I went to that appointment." Then I tell him the new medicines that the GI doctor has me taking, because nurses like to know that stuff. And I said that I am supposed to be taking Zofran, but my insurance doesn't cover it, so I am not taking it regularly. He then goes on this tirade about how people are responsible for understanding their insurance policies on drug coverage, and "you should have read your manual from cover to cover so that you can be educated about this. There's nothing I can do about it, blah, blah, blah."

By this point, I am trying not to cry (because I am an all-occasion crier. I cry when I'm mad or embarrassed or upset). Such a jerk! (the nurse guy, not me for feeling like crying when a guy yells at me when I am feeling sick:)